Wednesday 18th March Mascot and the Mentor

Drinking too much coffee before a journey can end up being a fearful task, especially when relying on public transport or when using public facilities. As a child I instinctively understood that we were all mortal and have always feared the actualisation of my childhood nightmares of me peeing in my pants.

I am a coffee addict and I love waking up to brewed coffee in the morning as it acts as a catalyst that ignites my daily drive. I am generally overwhelmed by my dismal mood swings that delay an innate inability to neurologically judge the time. My mind’s intuitive triaging capabilities are distracted and controlled by the demons in my head that roam like deranged fugitives humping up and down, drowning out any perception of real time.

I woke up especially early this morning to be on time for Rathna’s tutorial group on documentation as I am strongly motioned by my pathetic scrape booking skills and my need for an educator, a mentor and an intellect. My wake up alarm sounded subconsciously in my head like the clamor of cathedral bells. The day started like I was preparing for a ceremony, a celebration of a union of minds, feeling positive that something good was going to eventuate. Intellectually until now my design classes have been a disappointment. I am still disillusioned by the 2nd year's D&AD awards and 6 months of Marc Wood who appeared that he needed this job just to supplement his studio income.

The experience will finally be a memorable one, as two gracious saviors have reverently resurrected themselves amongst the third year staff. The two incredible educators and mentors, Sadhna and Rathna have unquestionably brought a needed structure to the course. I am literally pushed into a corner and intellectually asked to question my reasoning and comprehension of a brief. Thankfully I am pushed to make important choices and articulate my ideas. The pervious year did not reflect this as part of the learning experience. My disapproval of Marc as a teacher and his lack of personal and professional judgment stays in my mind. I wish to soon forget this time as Marc’s pathetic responses to students and my briefs sent me into the depths of depression. I seemed to have developed mental heath problems rather than develop design skills that would aid me in a career of graphic design. I am scared by the thought that this guy is just totally wrong for teaching and no one has been brave enough to alert the board of everyone's disillusion and anguish.

Paranoia began to overwhelm me, as I couldn’t remember whether I put my name down for the morning or afternoon group. I am 100% certain that I put all the details for the session in my iphone. As I began to panic, I became more consciously numb whether it was the 2am session that I had enrolled in or not.

By this time I had drunk 3 cups of coffee and I had been to Ruffle’s Kitchen for breakfast. My leg was still in agony after the stripping procedure of a various vein that I had 2 weeks earlier at the Chelsea Westminster Hospital and as I’d prefer to be pampered rather than stand on my leg in my claustrophobic kitchen, Ruffle’s Kitchen becomes the surrogate company for when I’m not at my best.

I began to panic and revert into my head by playing with the demons that manipulate my senses and antagonize me when I feel that I can’t cope. “Ah”, I struggle with my iphone in confusion and push every button hoping that an electronic miracle would happen, but with no prevail. “Help, oh my God, fuck”, I scream and grab my bag and run for the door.

I saw the toilet on leaving and thought I can’t waste any more time, as I was now running late. And with my bladder all ready full and in pain I knew that I could last the journey that takes less than half an hour. The pain in my leg was a lot stronger so it added comfort to the amount of fluid that I had in my system. Off I went hobbling by foot to the station, it was 9:35 am.